So you just can’t keep your eyes or your thoughts off that guy/girl you work with. You want to ask them out, but there are two truths, the office policy says no and if it ends horribly, you will have to see that person every day for the rest of your career so long and he/she works there. Most people throw caution to the wind without thinking about the latter.
As an over thinker, I definitely turn off the interest meter in the dating co-worker area and focus on my work. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a woman with blood in my veins and the occasional wild thought when passing a good looking smile in a blue shirt, just like most women. However, I live in a world where the rent is due on the 1st of the month. So yes, there have totally been times where I’ve seen someone else at the company I worked for and thought, I’d love to get to know them more, but I’ve always kept those feelings at bay and focused on work. As an entrepreneur now, the need to focus on work is even more pressing.
With that said, I am NOT a fan of the office relationship. I am definitely NOT a fan of the senior and subordinate relationship either. Keep in mind, I’m also not a relationship expert. If I were, I’d be married with 3 kids and a dog. But if you’re going to jump into the fire, here’s some things to consider and keep in mind as you go:
IX. Are you both on the same page with this?
Is this really a thing you both have for each other? Or is one person thinking it’s just about the sex? Do you both know what’s at stake when you cross the line? Have you discussed if you both want a relationship and most importantly, do you know what happens if others in the office find out? How will it affect your working relationship? These are just a few of questions you need the answer to before jumping into anything.
VIII. Don’t talk about work when you’re together for more than 7 minutes.
It’s great to bond over mutual pain. Having someone laugh at all your stories without having to explain who the people are is an awesome feeling. BUT, over time, if the only thing you have to discuss is work, you never leave work. There’s some positives to this when you both absolutely LOVE what you do, but my guess is that you want to build something together outside of the 9-5 and that’s why you’re dating.
VII. Keep it absolutely quiet until you’re engaged and/or one of you is leaving the job.
No one needs to know about your relationship at work. It’s work. Leave your lovers spats and eskimo kisses for after hours with each other. Your relationship might not last long enough to elevate to the level of engagement. So why put your job at risk?
VI. This should go without saying, but make sure he/she is not already married or in a relationship.
Seriously, I’m not going to elaborate on this. If you need me to, go get some self-respect.
V. Don’t get caught stealing kisses in the supply closet.
All it takes is for Roberta to see you two and there will be no end to the gossip. Forget getting fired, just think of every person in the company picturing you kissing. Do keep all the hotness at bay because there’s nothing more seductive & rewarding than withholding a kiss when it’s yearned for all day and then giving it when there’s no interruptions by Mr. “Don’t mind me, I’m just here to grab a cup of coffee,” Bill.
IV. If it goes south, keep it professional.
So you’ve crossed that line and whenever you go make copies, you see the person you used to like making copies with. You have to live with that awkwardness, but don’t make them live with it. No comments, no walk down memory lane, just focus on work.
III. If it goes way down south, find a new job and alert your Human Resources manager.
This is where it gets extremely dangerous. When the other person won’t let you go and it becomes weird. Are they spreading your personal business to co-workers? Are they unable to let go and still flirting? Unfortunately, you helped to make this bed so the only way out is to get out yourself. You most likely will have to find a new job and once you notify Human Resources, you’ll both have to find new jobs. This is the scariest thought in the world. When people are in love, they are wonderful; but when they fall out, that’s when you see who they really are. With that said…
II. Be friends for as long as possible before making the decision to date.
When you get to know who the person really is before dating, you get a window into how they’ll treat you if things don’t fair well. In dating, there’s this notion of a representative. The person you see when you go on your first few dates before they start to get comfortable and pull down their mask. Well at work, you only see your co-workers representative. You have no clue what they’re like at home or on the weekends. You don’t know if they tip, if they clean their house, if they shower everyday… most importantly, you don’t know if they are the jealous type or how they handle rejection. Get to know them really well before you start dating.
I. Don’t make it a habit of dating multiple co-workers.
Ok Sneaky Pete/Pete-ette. You’re in the ultimate sandbox for dating. You know they look good dressed up, you know they have a job, and you’ve seen their work ethic. You also know that they’ll keep it quiet for a while. That does not mean take advantage of the playing field. You’ll earn a reputation by doing so. ESPECIALLY if any of the people you are dating have any input over your next promotion. And when it gets out, IT GETS OUT. There’s nothing scarier than everyone knowing you played them like a fiddle.
These are my tips for dating a coworker. If you decide to date someone you work with, here’s hoping for the best! Do you have any tips? Chime in below.
Stay tuned! This week, we’ll provide some fashion tips for the office.